Novelty Gag Gifts · All 32 Cities

The perfect gift for the fan who’s about to cry

Soft, absorbent, and brutally well-timed. Tear Towels are unofficial novelty rally towels in your city’s colors — built for celebrating, sulking, and mailing straight to the loudest fan you know.

Jump to your division
AFC East AFC North AFC South AFC West NFC East NFC North NFC South NFC West
Order today for this week’s games Flat $X.XX shipping · 2–5 days XX-day returns Secure checkout
Football fans on a couch reacting to a loss, each holding a fan tear towel

Actually Soft

Plush, absorbent, genuinely usable. It handles sweat, spilled nachos, and a fourth-quarter collapse equally well.

Ruthless Gag Gift

Nothing lands like a towel arriving the Tuesday after a loss. Zero words required. The color does the talking.

One For Every City

All 32 pro football markets, organized by conference and division. Find your city in about four seconds.

Ships Fast

Same-day dispatch on orders in before X:00 PM, so it can land before the next kickoff. Gift message included.

Tear Towels
AFC NFC All 32
32 towels

Pick Your City. Pick Your Pain.

Thirty-two towels, one for every city that has ever ruined a perfectly good Sunday. Soft enough to actually use. Pointed enough to give away.

AFC
AFC East
AFC North

Cincinnati

Orange & Black Tear Towel

Cincinnati novelty fan tear towel in Orange and Black colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel
AFC South

Indianapolis

Royal Blue & White Tear Towel

Indianapolis novelty fan tear towel in Royal Blue and White colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel

Tennessee

Navy & Sky Blue Tear Towel

Tennessee novelty fan tear towel in Navy and Sky Blue colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel
AFC West

Los Angeles

Powder Blue & Gold Tear Towel

Los Angeles novelty fan tear towel in Powder Blue and Gold colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel
NFC
NFC East

Philadelphia

Midnight Green & Silver Tear Towel

Philadelphia novelty fan tear towel in Midnight Green and Silver colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel

Washington

Burgundy & Gold Tear Towel

Washington novelty fan tear towel in Burgundy and Gold colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel
NFC North

Green Bay

Dark Green & Gold Tear Towel

Green Bay novelty fan tear towel in Dark Green and Gold colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel
NFC South
NFC West

Arizona

Cardinal Red & White Tear Towel

Arizona novelty fan tear towel in Cardinal Red and White colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel

Los Angeles

Royal Blue & Gold Tear Towel

Los Angeles novelty fan tear towel in Royal Blue and Gold colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel

San Francisco

Scarlet & Gold Tear Towel

San Francisco novelty fan tear towel in Scarlet and Gold colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel

Seattle

Navy & Bright Green Tear Towel

Seattle novelty fan tear towel in Navy and Bright Green colors
$25.99+ Shipping
Get This Towel
No towel for that — try a city name like Buffalo, Kansas City or Green Bay.
Best Value

The Rivalry 2-Pack

One for your city, one for theirs. Because rivalries are a two-way street and somebody is going to need a towel by January.

$45.99 $51.98 Save $5.99 · Ships free
Build Your 2-Pack
All 32 Cities
The Rival Fan Play

Mail It Monday Morning.

Everybody has one: the coworker who will not stop talking, the brother-in-law with the group-chat takes, the neighbor with the flag on the truck. You do not need a comeback. You need a package with their colors on it, arriving the morning after.

Ship straight to them — add a gift message at checkout, no note from you required.
Works as a birthday gift, a white-elephant entry, a draft-day prize, or pure revenge.
Buy two, keep one. Rivalries are a two-way street and seasons are long.
Find Their City
Split screen: one fan celebrating on the phone beside an opened delivery box, the other in tears wiping his face with a fan tear towel

Questions, Answered

Everything about the towel, the shipping, and the legal fine print.

Each towel is a soft, absorbent rally-style towel measuring approximately XX" x XX". It is genuinely usable — wipe a seat, dry your hands, wave it in the fourth quarter, or catch a few tears when the season goes sideways. Exact fabric weight and dimensions are listed on each product page.

Orders placed before X:00 PM local time ship the same business day. Standard delivery typically lands in 2–5 business days, with expedited options at checkout. Holiday and playoff weeks are our busiest, so order early if it is a gift for a specific game day.

No. Tear Towels are unofficial novelty gag gifts sold independently. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or licensed by the National Football League, NFL Properties LLC, or any professional football team. All team names, marks, and related designs referenced anywhere are the property of their respective owners.

Yes, and it is the whole point. At checkout you can ship straight to the recipient and add a short gift message. Many customers send one to a friend, sibling, coworker, or in-law in a rival city — ideally timed for the week after a rough loss.

Unused towels in original packaging can be returned within XX days for a full refund or exchange. If the item arrives damaged or the wrong city ships, send us a photo and we will replace it at no cost. Gift recipients can exchange without needing the original order number.

All 32 pro football markets are represented, grouped by conference and division so you can find your city fast. Cities with two franchises are listed separately and identified by color pairing so you always send the right one.

Somebody You Know Is About To Need This

Thirty-two cities. One very specific emotion. Grab a towel before the next round of heartbreak makes it a necessity.

Tear Towels are unofficial novelty gag gifts. They are not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or licensed by the National Football League, NFL Properties LLC, or any professional football team, conference, or organization. All team names, league names, logos, and related marks are the property of their respective owners and are not claimed by us. Products are sold as novelty items only.

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